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Shannon T.

The Hormone Guide

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The Hormone Guide

Women will understand this! Men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS:What's for dinner?

SAFER:Can I help you with dinner?

SAFEST:Where would you like to go for dinner?

ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:Are you wearing that?

SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!

SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!

ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine

DANGEROUS:What are you so worked up about?

SAFER:Could we be overreacting?

SAFEST: Here's $1,000 dollars, go shopping

ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:Should you be eating that?

SAFER:You know, there are a lot of apples left.

SAFEST:Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?

ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:What did you DO all day?

SAFER:I hope you didn't over-do it today.

SAFEST:I've always loved you in that robe!

ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine .

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one.

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Forward this information to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh...

and men who need a warning.

And remember: Money talks but Chocolate SINGS :lol:

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:D THAT IS SO SPOT ON ! YOU DID MAKE ME LAUGH !

HRT ALSO WORKS WONDERS THOUGH, HA HA,I SHOULD KNOW ! :D

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The Hormone Guide

Women will understand this! Men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS:What's for dinner?

SAFER:Can I help you with dinner?

SAFEST:Where would you like to go for dinner?

ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:Are you wearing that?

SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!

SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!

ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine

DANGEROUS:What are you so worked up about?

SAFER:Could we be overreacting?

SAFEST: Here's $1,000 dollars, go shopping

ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:Should you be eating that?

SAFER:You know, there are a lot of apples left.

SAFEST:Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?

ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:What did you DO all day?

SAFER:I hope you didn't over-do it today.

SAFEST:I've always loved you in that robe!

ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine .

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one.

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Forward this information to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh...

and men who need a warning.

And remember: Money talks but Chocolate SINGS :lol:

ahh that was spot on!!! really made me laugh bcuz its so true!!

Nicole XxXxX:P

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HAHA!!! This is soooo true!!

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AHAHHAH-"Here, have some wine". :lol:

And "Plainly; Men Suck". :lol:!!!!

I SOOOO get that. XD Thanks for the laugh! ;)

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As a Newbie I am catching up on the different threads and I just had to reply to this one.

This is so hilarious....and so true...I couldn't stop laughing.

I used to have a sign in my kitchen that read.....My favorite thing to make for dinner is ...reservations....

During that time of the month whenever my husband asked what we were having for dinner, I used to point in the direction of the sign.

It didn't always work though.......

Take care!!!

Rita

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The Hormone Guide

Women will understand this! Men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS:What's for dinner?

SAFER:Can I help you with dinner?

SAFEST:Where would you like to go for dinner?

ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:Are you wearing that?

SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!

SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!

ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine

DANGEROUS:What are you so worked up about?

SAFER:Could we be overreacting?

SAFEST: Here's $1,000 dollars, go shopping

ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:Should you be eating that?

SAFER:You know, there are a lot of apples left.

SAFEST:Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?

ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:What did you DO all day?

SAFER:I hope you didn't over-do it today.

SAFEST:I've always loved you in that robe!

ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine .

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one.

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Forward this information to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh...

and men who need a warning.

And remember: Money talks but Chocolate SINGS :lol:

Hi Shannon, this made me laugh! Here is something on the same lines:-

If God was a woman

• Chocolate would not be fattening

• The “Communal Changing Room” would not exist

• Men would find cellulite sexy

• Chips would be a health food

• Clothes shopping would be a religion

• Gyms would be illegal

• Brad Pitt would have 3 million clones, all of them “easy”

• Men would give birth and babies would be MASSIVE!!

• Flat stomachs would be considered disgusting

• There’d be Gin in the water supply

Love

Lindy

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i am in that place right now...

can't decide what's more appropriate

Pardon My Sobbin

Pass My Shotgun

or

People Make me Sick

i guess all of them. cooked my family a lovely dinner, then almost started crying cause it didn't turn out the way i wanted it :( everyone kept telling me it tasted wonderful...but i'm in an aweful mood anyway. have been for the last 2 days!

and ladies, i kid you not, i'm having a glass of wine right now. well, to be completely honest, i guess i drank the whole bottle...but it's medicine. i'm stressed and it's that time of the month and i need cheering up. as i have no boyfriend/hubby/kids to yell at, i need wine!

cheers :)

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That's hilarious.

As for PMS I'd have to stick with Plainly; Men Suck, especially during "that time of the month".

Rita- That is a great idea with the sign and everything. I'll have to remember that for later in life =]

Hugs,,

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Shannon... luv the Hormone Guide you posted...v.funny!

Can i suggest that we turn a negative into a positive?

PMS - Play Michaels Songs!

PMS - Please Michael Sing!

PMS - Pass My Soave!

GHG

P.S. Rita thinking of adopting your kitchen sign as my new mantra...LOL!

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P.S. Rita thinking of adopting your kitchen sign as my new mantra...LOL!

YOU ARE WELCOME...IT WORKED FOR ME MOST OF THE TIME.....

I HAVE A NEW SIGN SINCE MY HUSBAND HAS RETIRED...

' THIS IS A SELF CLEANING KITCHEN ...WHEN YOU USE SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO CLEAN IT YOURSELF' ....

IT SOUNDS BETTER IN DUTCH...

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Sounds good in English too...LOL!

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TALKING ABOUT HORMONES THEY START WOMEN ON HRT DON'T THEY ?

H - HOT

R- RANDY

T- TENOR

HRT = MICHAEL !

GOOD JOB I'M TAKING IT THEN ! HA HA ! LOL !

SUE

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TALKING ABOUT HORMONES THEY START WOMEN ON HRT DON'T THEY ?

H - HOT

R- RANDY

T- TENOR

HRT = MICHAEL !

GOOD JOB I'M TAKING IT THEN ! HA HA ! LOL !

SUE

HI SUE

PRESUME THIS WON'T CONTROL THE HOT NIGHT SWEATS THEN???! :P

LOVE

FEVERED (GM) x

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NAH IT DON'T HELP THEM MUCH BUT DO I CARE ?

IT SURE MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD THOUGH!

THE MICHAEL TYPE OF HRT I MEAN !

SUE

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don't know how i missed this topic

my goodness i'd take anything that would help the crazy hormones!!

and HRT, i want some.

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Yeah me too...but only Sue's definition!

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The Hormone Guide

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one.

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Great!! :D That's about me? ;)

Today I'm feel like 13 :ph34r:

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TALKING ABOUT HORMONES THEY START WOMEN ON HRT DON'T THEY ?

H - HOT

R- RANDY

T- TENOR

HRT = MICHAEL !

GOOD JOB I'M TAKING IT THEN ! HA HA ! LOL !

SUE

HAVE NOT BEEN ON THE BOARD FOR A FEW DAYS....DOES IT HELP AGAINST WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS ?.....

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Hey Rita...welcome back...hope you had a good short break! There's only one thing for withdrawal symptoms...OD on the Buble...Lol!

love

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YOU HAVE BEEN MISSED RITA !

HRT MICHAEL STYLE SHOULD HELP WITH WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS. :D

SUE

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