[Shannon T.]

The Hormone Guide
Women will understand this! Men should memorize it!



Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!


DANGEROUS:What's for dinner?
SAFER:Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST:Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine.


DANGEROUS:Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine


DANGEROUS:What are you so worked up about?
SAFER:Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's $1,000 dollars, go shopping
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.


DANGEROUS:Should you be eating that?
SAFER:You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST:Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine.


DANGEROUS:What did you DO all day?
SAFER:I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST:I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine .




13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one.



13. Potential Murder Suspect



Forward this information to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh...

and men who need a warning.

And remember: Money talks but Chocolate SINGS

[lisetta]

ahahahaha
loved that!
here, have some wine...

[bublesue]

THAT IS SO SPOT ON ! YOU DID MAKE ME LAUGH !

HRT ALSO WORKS WONDERS THOUGH, HA HA,I SHOULD KNOW !

[KatSparrow24]

haha I love that! Thanks for posting

-Kat

[XxThatGirlxX]

Shannon T., on Jul 14 2008, 04:17 PM, said:

The Hormone Guide
Women will understand this! Men should memorize it!



Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!
DANGEROUS:What's for dinner?
SAFER:Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST:Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine.


DANGEROUS:Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine
DANGEROUS:What are you so worked up about?
SAFER:Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's $1,000 dollars, go shopping
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.
DANGEROUS:Should you be eating that?
SAFER:You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST:Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine.
DANGEROUS:What did you DO all day?
SAFER:I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST:I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine .




13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one.



13. Potential Murder Suspect



Forward this information to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh...

and men who need a warning.

And remember: Money talks but Chocolate SINGS

ahh that was spot on!!! really made me laugh bcuz its so true!!
Nicole XxXxX:P

[Amie]

Ahh, this made me laugh hehe.
It's sooooooo true

[*twinkle*]

HAHA!!! This is soooo true!!

[swooninggrany]

HAA HAAA, LOVED THAT , MAYBE BECAUSE WHAT YOU SPEAK IS THE TRUTH. HAA HAA THANK SHANNON.
HUGE HUGS, LORETTA SMILING AT YOU.

[Bran Muffin]

AHAHHAH-"Here, have some wine".

And "Plainly; Men Suck". !!!!

I SOOOO get that. XD Thanks for the laugh!

[Poinciana]

As a Newbie I am catching up on the different threads and I just had to reply to this one.

This is so hilarious....and so true...I couldn't stop laughing.

I used to have a sign in my kitchen that read.....My favorite thing to make for dinner is ...reservations....

During that time of the month whenever my husband asked what we were having for dinner, I used to point in the direction of the sign.

It didn't always work though.......


Take care!!!

Rita

[Lindyloo]

Shannon T., on Jul 14 2008, 03:17 PM, said:

The Hormone Guide
Women will understand this! Men should memorize it!



Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!


DANGEROUS:What's for dinner?
SAFER:Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST:Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine.


DANGEROUS:Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine


DANGEROUS:What are you so worked up about?
SAFER:Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's $1,000 dollars, go shopping
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.


DANGEROUS:Should you be eating that?
SAFER:You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST:Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine.


DANGEROUS:What did you DO all day?
SAFER:I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST:I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine .




13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one.



13. Potential Murder Suspect



Forward this information to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh...

and men who need a warning.

And remember: Money talks but Chocolate SINGS

Hi Shannon, this made me laugh! Here is something on the same lines:-
If God was a woman

• Chocolate would not be fattening
• The “Communal Changing Room” would not exist
• Men would find cellulite sexy
• Chips would be a health food
• Clothes shopping would be a religion
• Gyms would be illegal
• Brad Pitt would have 3 million clones, all of them “easy”
• Men would give birth and babies would be MASSIVE!!
• Flat stomachs would be considered disgusting
• There’d be Gin in the water supply
Love
Lindy

[rena]

i am in that place right now...

can't decide what's more appropriate

Pardon My Sobbin

Pass My Shotgun

or

People Make me Sick


i guess all of them. cooked my family a lovely dinner, then almost started crying cause it didn't turn out the way i wanted it everyone kept telling me it tasted wonderful...but i'm in an aweful mood anyway. have been for the last 2 days!

and ladies, i kid you not, i'm having a glass of wine right now. well, to be completely honest, i guess i drank the whole bottle...but it's medicine. i'm stressed and it's that time of the month and i need cheering up. as i have no boyfriend/hubby/kids to yell at, i need wine!

cheers

[CurseTen]

That's hilarious.

As for PMS I'd have to stick with Plainly; Men Suck, especially during "that time of the month".

Rita- That is a great idea with the sign and everything. I'll have to remember that for later in life =]

Hugs,,

[elbub33]

Shannon... luv the Hormone Guide you posted...v.funny!

Can i suggest that we turn a negative into a positive?

PMS - Play Michaels Songs!

PMS - Please Michael Sing!

PMS - Pass My Soave!

GHG

P.S. Rita thinking of adopting your kitchen sign as my new mantra...LOL!

[Poinciana]

P.S. Rita thinking of adopting your kitchen sign as my new mantra...LOL!
[/quote]


YOU ARE WELCOME...IT WORKED FOR ME MOST OF THE TIME.....

I HAVE A NEW SIGN SINCE MY HUSBAND HAS RETIRED...

' THIS IS A SELF CLEANING KITCHEN ...WHEN YOU USE SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO CLEAN IT YOURSELF' ....

IT SOUNDS BETTER IN DUTCH...

[elbub33]

Sounds good in English too...LOL!

[bublesue]

TALKING ABOUT HORMONES THEY START WOMEN ON HRT DON'T THEY ?

H - HOT


R- RANDY


T- TENOR


HRT = MICHAEL !


GOOD JOB I'M TAKING IT THEN ! HA HA ! LOL !

SUE

[FeveredByBuble]

bublesue, on Jan 26 2009, 09:48 PM, said:

TALKING ABOUT HORMONES THEY START WOMEN ON HRT DON'T THEY ?

H - HOT


R- RANDY


T- TENOR


HRT = MICHAEL !


GOOD JOB I'M TAKING IT THEN ! HA HA ! LOL !

SUE

HI SUE

PRESUME THIS WON'T CONTROL THE HOT NIGHT SWEATS THEN???!


LOVE
FEVERED (GM) x

[bublesue]

NAH IT DON'T HELP THEM MUCH BUT DO I CARE ?

IT SURE MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD THOUGH!

THE MICHAEL TYPE OF HRT I MEAN !



SUE

[bottsbuble]

don't know how i missed this topic

my goodness i'd take anything that would help the crazy hormones!!

and HRT, i want some.